User blog:Rzeka/Fighting Depression

Chapter One: Getting to Know Me  Rain droplets pelted the windows in my attic bedroom. Cobwebs sitting in every possible corner. Darkness pursued the room. No lamps stood in the room. Not a single corner had light. My name's Aubrey Gallagher, 14 years old. I have depression, it began in a snap when I turned 7, my parents turned into criminals, sweet as pie, soon rotted into moldy fungus. They turned to the other side one morning, at 2 A.M. They never returned home, soon after my older sister, Madeline Carver, she's 29 now but anyways, she turned on the news, and there it was, the moment I fell into depression. I live in Maine, my sister and I moved to her house a few months after she got married. I woke up to pounding raindrops hitting the roof and windows. I sighed. Another day, I thought. I hesitantly got out of my bed and got dressed into my regular, everyday clothes: black sweatshirt, black t-shirt, the darkest shade of gray leggings, and leather boots. I walked downstairs, throwing the hood of my sweatshirt over me. "Aubrey, sooner or later you gotta stop being all sad and depressed," John said, Madeline's husband. I said nothing, grabbing my lunch and went out the door. 23 minutes later, the bus arrived. I got off the porch swing and stepped into the bus. Everyone inside just turned their heads straight over to the windows, I walked straight to the back of the bus, my favorite place of the bus. No one sits back there. We arrived to the front of the school. I got off and headed towards first period, art. My teacher is Miss Ross. We paint a bunch of things in there, I'm rather painting dark gloomy pictures or birds. I love birds, especially blue jays. Miss Ross loves everyones paintings, but she always adores mine. She says they're realistic and beautiful. She hangs mine up in the busy halls of lockers and people. After art, we had a quick break. I sat on the soft, wet grass in the back of the school. I sit there and let all my thoughts let loose, like swarms of birds migrating. There's a waterfall by where I sit so it makes me feel very peaceful. But another person came up and said, "Dia duit, cé tú féin?" Good thing I take language and chose Irish. "Dia duit, tá mé Aubrey." "Ah, Aubrey, tá mé Ashley. Ashley Hardesty." "Oh, ceart go leor." "Ó, a fheiceann tú timpeall ansin. Slán!" Ashley walked off, her hair swaying in the wind. I turned back around and kept thinking more. It was history class, please, give me a break. History is  the  worst class in all time (my opinion)! Our teacher is Mr. Wreath. Besides all the boringness that makes this class the worst, he is the worst teacher I have ever dealt with. "November 21, 1620, the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth..." I was bored to death that I was half awake. Seconds later I heard him yell at me-  "Miss Gallagher!" "Oh, um, sorry...." I quietly said. He turned around, and continued his talking about the Pilgrims. 3:45, best part of the day, I got onto the bus and sat in the back. I got home and walked inside. "Aubrey, do you mind helping me with the dishes?" Madeline asked. I dropped my backpack on the ground and walked into the kitchen. "Thank you," she smiled, expecting a smile back, but I never smiled, never since father and mother left. That mother and father were gone, John and Madeline treated me like their own daughter, which I don't like. I'm Madeline's sister so I should be treated like a sister, not a little baby. After I finally finished the dishes and my homework I went upstairs to my bedroom. Raindrops still pounded the roof and windows. I didn't care. I like the noise it makes. I threw myself onto my bed and stayed for most of the evening until dinner. Have I mentioned I'm an aunt yet? Well, I am. Madeline and John have a baby son named Luke. Well, anyways, I sat down at the table, we prayed then started eating. Chicken Tortilla Soup, one of my favorite dishes. I was super hungry because I hadn't eaten lunch, breakfast, or last night's dinner, liver. I think liver's disgusting. All goopy and stuff. So I scarfed down my soup and had seconds. After dinner I went to bed, I was tired so I fell right to sleep. To be continued Chapter Two: Friends  It was Saturday morning, it was snowing outside. I woke up and looked up at the clock, "7:36" it said. I got out of bed and wore a new sweatshirt from my friend, Kristi. It was a black sweatshirt that said "LIFEGUARD, Santa Cruz, CA" in gray letters. She went there last summer and she forgot to give it to me until last Thursday. I put that on with a dark shade of brown tanktop, and some ripped up black jeans. I went downstairs, when Luke was standing right in front of me. "Can you pway cars wif me?" he asked. "....okay." I said. Besides, I have nothing else to do till 11, so I might as well do what he wants. For 30 minutes we played "bumper cars", he was crashing all of the cars into each other. Then he got up and went to Madeline and John, who were talking at the coffee table. He climbed onto John and was playing with his shirt. 3 hours passed and the clock turned 11:03. "Bye, sis," I called. "You're going with Kristi, right?" she asked. "Yeah,"   "Okay, be back by tonight." "'Kay." I walked out the front door, the world was like a blank piece of paper, there was so much snow. I hopped into Kristi's Honda and sat down. "Hi," she turned to me. Kristi's not depressed, but she's gothic. Dark purple pixie hair, dark purple lipstick, black and purple sweatshirt over a purple tanktop. Ripped distressed jeans with chains hanging out of the pockets. She loves purple, if the world was only one color, she would choose it to be a dark shade of purple. Anyways, me and Kris are going to the mall, she wants to get some new clothes and makeup. Then after that, we're going to Outback Steakhouse. She's paying for her makeup and clothes and I'm paying for the food. So, we arrived at the mall and went into the makeup department of Macy's. He was looking at purple's and very dark shade's of blues. I found a purple one and showed it to her, she plopped it into her shopping bag. It was 3:00 now, and she picked up her last bag of things. "It's only 3, what do ya wanna do now?" she asked. I shrugged. "Can we go to the earring store quickly? I remembered that they came out with new earrings today." "Sure," I said quietly. After some more shopping, we went to dinner. We both got steak, after we finished, I got the bill, I paid it, when a boy came over to our table. "Sup, chick?" he smirked, looking at me. "Um,"   "Hey, uh, we gotta go now..." Kris said. She grabbed my arm, the waitress handed me back my Visa card and we left and got in the car. "Thanks," I said. "No problem," she started the car and exited the parking lot. She dropped me off at my house. "See ya Monday," she started, "and thanks for dinner." I nodded and went inside. It was 8:45, perfect. "Hey, Aubrey," John looked up from his glass of Mountain Dew. "Hey," I sat down on the couch. "How was your day with Kristi?" "Good." He gave me a look. I tossed him his steak I told him I would get him. "Thanks," he said. I nodded. "Where's Madeline and Luke?" I asked. He said nothing. "John?" ".....Hospital." "-Wait what?" "Luke, he.." he coughed, "he choked on one of his toy cars..." "He knows that his toys aren't food, right?" I started tearing up. "No, until this afternoon." I started sobbing and headed straight upstairs. To be continued Chapter Three: Faith  I woke up this morning, hoping Luke would knock on the door. But no. I went downstairs, I searched the house in hope of Luke. No Luke. I started crying. Just then, I heard the doorbell ring. I got up off the couch. I slowly opened the door, suddenly, a boy ran up and hugged me-it was Luke! I cried tears of joy. Madeline smiled at the scene that stood before her. "I was so scared," I cried under my breath, "thank you, Lord." We got ready for church and left at 8:55. We got there and dropped Luke off in the little kids room, and went inside of the church. Pastor Seth talked about the birth of Jesus, it's almost Christmas, by the way. I was listening and taking notes. Afterwards, we got Luke and drove home. John turned on football, Luke crawling onto the couch to watch, and Madeline started making lunch while I sat out on the porch. Half an hour later, Madeline busted the back door open. "Aubrey, car, now!" she yelled. I got up and followed her to the car. She fastened Luke up as fast as she could and hopped into the driver's seat turning on the car. "Maddie, what is it?" I asked. "Nick," she said. Oh, I forgot to tell you I have a brother. His name is Nicholas. He's in his mid 30's. We were at the hospital. My face turned pale. The hospital-Nick. "Madeline, what happened?!" I screamed as she pulled Luke out of his seat. She said nothing. A cold shiver ran down my spine. We got into a room-and there I saw it-Nick was laying in the bed. I felt my eyes burn with tears. "How's he doing, doc?" Madeline's face was pale, her voice solemn. "Critical," he sternly said. Madeline had streaks of tears running down her face. We decided to spend the night at the hospital, the doctors had a special bed for Luke, and Madeline, John and I just slept in the chairs. Almost all night, Madeline was sitting by Nick's bed. She stayed awake all night with tears just strolling on down her face and onto her clothes. I sighed and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. I was praying that God would help Nick to stay alive. By the way, Nick got hit by a drunk driver. He was driving his Toyota when a Subaru crashed into him. I tried to fall asleep but with the thought of Nick's death running through my mind, I couldn't. I just kept praying To be continued  Chapter Four: A Death in the Family  I woke up the next morning, only having an hour of sleep. Madeline didn't send me to school. My eye's were red and burning. Nick's wife, Rachael was sitting the corner of the room, staring out the snowy window. Rachael looked at me with her baby in her arms. "Do you mind walking Sophie around in the hall?" she asked, her face was pale, her eyes teary. I took Sophie out into the halls and walked around a good hour. Once I came back into the room, everyone was crying but Luke, who didn't know what was going on. I walked in, looking at the screen of Nick's heartbeat, I stared for a minute, not believing what I saw. I shook my head, and looked again, seeing the same thing. All of this must be a dream, right? I closed my eyes, and looked again. The screen was empty. I sat down, I felt my eyes burst with tears. My brother just died. I couldn't believe it. My mother and father are gone, and now my brother. Sophie looked up at my face, cocking her head. She had no idea her daddy disappeared. I looked into her ocean blue and sea foam green eyes, the same eyes Nick had. Freckles dotted her face, just like Nick's. Her hair brown ombre, a mix of Rachael and Nick's hair, Nick's blonde, Rachael's brown. I couldn't help but cry more. I looked at Nick's body, still, face plain, eye's closed. Sophie patted my shoulder with her little hand. I hugged her. We went home, the car was silent. Everyone's face solemn. Luke was looking around. Once we arrived in the driveway, I threw open the car door and slammed it. I bolted into the house, and ran upstairs. I burst into nonstop tears, like a waterfall. Rachael and Sophie are going to stay the next few months in our house. I couldn't sleep tonight. Thoughts of Nick scrambled through my mind, like rush hour on the road. Why did Nick have to die? I know God knew this was gonna happen and it was according to His plan, but I wish Nick hadn't died. All of us do. "I wish Nick hadn't died," I said to myself. "I do too," a voice called, opening the door. It was Luke. "I'm torry ya bwoter die." I sighed. "It's otay you're sadness." he quietly said. He has his blanket and teddy bear in his hands. He sat on my bed and quickly fell asleep. I turned on my side and fell asleep, too. To be continued  Chapter Five: Starting Over   It's been 3 months since Nick's death, Rachael has a boyfriend now named Mark Stewart. Sophie turned 1 a few weeks ago on February 23. Mark's a really nice guy, but I still miss Nick. My depression has gotten worse since Nick's death, Mark's been trying to help me, but it doesn't work. Luke and Sophie really like Mark and play with him all the time. Madeline has been trying hard to forget Nick's death, and John too. John was Nick's friend since the 2nd grade. We switched to a new school, because we couldn't afford the cost of the school since Nick's medical bills were high. I go to a public school now, trying to avoid the provokes of turning away from God. I'm still friends with Kristi, everyone treats me like trash in my new school so depression hit a new level. Rachael is happy with Mark, but you can still see the sadness in her eyes from Nick's death. I woke up for school, rubbing my heterochromic eyes. I have the same eyes as Nick and Sophie. I walked down stairs, grabbing my backpack. Mark took me to school, he dropped me off and went to work. I don't like my school very much because of the bullies and the teachers. All of my teacher's are strict and mean except for Mr. Bradford. He understands me and he's a Christian. I'm the only in my school besides his daughter and son who knows he's a Christian. He does math class. He graduated from Stanford University a few years ago. He knows about Nick's death and everything that happened. He knows about my parents, too. He buys lunch for me every Thursday. I'm friends with his children. One of them is Ishmael, he's the history expert, he helps me with history. And the other one is Myra. She loves art and can name every masterpiece you show her. Myra's a senior this year, she has an average of 4.1. She loves art and Bible, she had to come here because an incident happened at her old school where she was beat up by a group of boys there. Ishmael is in my class, he is also very smart with an average of 4.0. Anyways, so school was easy today, and quick, too. It didn't feel that long. John picked me up, and dropped me off at home, he had a meeting at 3:00 that he couldn't miss. I walked into the house, it was quiet. No one was there. I thought of ideas of why they were gone. Oh, right! In two days, it's my birthday. I forgot over all that's been happening. I'm turning 15. I really want a pup for my birthday, someone to stay upstairs with me and to talk to when I need to. I want the pup to be a Yorkie. I really like them. They're so cute. Well, anyways, they're gonna be gone for a bit so I might as well relax since I did all my homework. To be continued   Chapter Six: Birthday   Today's my birthday, so my BF is taking me out for a bit. Yeah, I have a BF. John and Madeline are fine with it, plus they say that it might help my depression. My BF is actually Ishmael. He's really smart, and cute. I can tell he likes me, he always is looking at me when we study, and not the book. If he is looking at the book, he'll often look up at me for a good 5 minutes until he notices we're studying. Mr. Bradford is also okay that we're dating. Mark and Rachael think it's cute that we like each other. But anyways, I got ready, I'm wearing a black with gray knee length leggings and gray slip-ons. I'm also wearing the necklace he gave me when he asked me to be his girlfriend. The necklace has black lace with a dark lavender rose on it. And I'm also wearing some earrings to go with it. He's coming at 12 to get me. I came downstairs with Madeline making coffee, she turned around and gasped. "You're so pretty!" I nodded, I knew she was expecting a smile out of me. She came up to me and gave me a side hug. John came in from outside, he as mowing the lawn. He just paused when he saw me. Then he said something. "You're gorgeous Aubrey! Happy birthday!" "Happy birthday!" Madeline hugged me again. Luke crawled downstairs hearing what his mom and dad said. "Happy birfday!" he waved his arms. "Thanks,"   He made a little birthday dance and then woke up Sophie to play "Farm" with her. Sophie came down with her mom, then Mark coming from his room downstairs an hour later. Sophie grabbed the stuffed chicken and lamb and Luke grabbed the cow and the pig. They pulled out their farmhouse from Christmas and started playing and Sophie grabbed the farmer when she noticed the farmer wasn't watching his animals. They we're making animal noises when the doorbell rang. Madeline opened it and Ishmael was standing there. He said hello to John, Madeline, Luke, Sophie, Rachael, and Mark. Then he said hi to me sheepishly. I said hello back, then he took my hand and led me outside to his car. He opened the door for me, John was secretly watching from the porch, pretending to read the newspaper. Ishmael hopped in and started the car. "Happy birthday," he smiled. "Where we going first?" "I don't know really,"   "Well, since it's noon, lunch?" I nodded. He drove to Cattlemen's, he knew I liked that place. He parked and got out of the car, then opened my door, grabbed my hand and pulled me out. We walked inside, barely anyone was there, some people were finishing up breakfast, and some were ordering lunch. Ishmael got a table, and it turned out to be in the corner of the restaurant. We sat down and looked at the menu. "What do you want?" he asked. "Uh, can I have iced tea?" "Of course!" The waiter came and asked us what drinks we wanted. Ishmael ordered Pepsi, and he ordered my drink as well. The waiter wrote it down and went to the kitchen. Before leaving, he said-  "They will be here in a moment. Birthday, perhaps?" I nodded. He smiled and said happy birthday, then went to the kitchen. Ishmael looked up at me and blushed. He smiled. The waiter came back minutes later with our drinks and asked if we were ready to order. Ishmael got a little bit of steak with a baked potato and I got a hamburger with fries. "How's life going at home?" Ishmael asked. "Fine, I guess," I said, "you?" "Great," he smiled. A few minutes of silence went by, then he said,  "How was it at your old school?" "It was okay, except for my history teacher. He didn't like me. But history class at the school we're going to now is okay, but better than my last one." "Hm," he started, "at my old school, girls constantly followed me, but I knew someone else was coming along the way. But the girls following me would make fun of my sister, then one of the girl's brothers beat up Myra, then we went to the school that we're at now." "I'm sorry about your sister," I sipped on my iced tea. The waiter came with our food, then left us so we could pray for our lunch. After lunch, we went to the mall. While we were walking, a girl came running to Ishmael. "Oh, hi Ishmael!" "Veronica," he sternly said. Veronica noticed me and said, "Who's she?" "Oh, that's Aubrey," he grabbed my hand. "Humph," she turned around frowning, then she walked away. "Who was that?" "That's one of the girl's from my old school. One of the annoying ones." "Oh," I nodded. We walked on until 3:30. Ishmael took me home, but before I got out of the car, he softly took my head. "Happy birthday," he said. He leaned in and gave me a kiss. I was shocked. I blushed, and said goodbye. I got out of the car and went onto my porch. Before I rang on the doorbell, John tapped me. "How was your day with Ishmael?" he asked. I realized that he saw what Ishmael did before I got out of the car. "Okay," I said, then rang the doorbell. Before the door opened he patted my shoulder. "He must really like you, huh?" I nodded, blushing. He chuckled, and went inside the house, with me following. That night, after we ate cake, it was time for my presents. I opened quite a few, like new clothes and lipstick. I came to the last one, and when I opened it, it had dog food. "Why dog food-" my voice was interrupted by a happily barking Yorkie pup. It jumped on me and licked me. I was quiet, hugging the pup. "What're you gonna name her?" Mark asked. "Her?" "Yeah,"  "Hm," I stared at her face. Her eyes twinkled like stars. Then I looked at her fur, the color of milk chocolate. "I think I'll name her.....Coco." "Do you like her?" Rachael asked. I nodded eagerly. The next day I went to the pet store with Madeline, we got a collar for Coco, and we also got  her shots. I knew this was a beginning of a new friendship. To be continued  Chapter Seven: Rivals  It was Monday, so I got up for school, deciding to wear a long sleeved dark gray shirt and some gray leggings with olive green slip-ons. Coco was jumping on me then running over to her dish bowl, so I got her some food and water for the day. I grabbed my new backpack from my birthday, it was a dark gray backpack with little white flowers and butterflies. I went downstairs and grabbed my lunch. Mark was up, the only one up besides me and Coco. He asked me about my birthday. "How was it with Ishmael on your birthday?" "Oh, it was good." then I whispered to him what he did before I went inside the house. He smiled and patted my back then said, "I guess he likes you a lot, that's a good thing!" I nodded and went out the door. To my surprise, Mr. Bradford, Myra, and Ishmael were there early to take me to school. Myra asked me about my birthday, I told her about my new Yorkie pup, and my day with Ishmael, then she interrupted me saying, "Ishmael told me all about it!" she giggled. Lewis blushed, and Mr. Bradford chuckled a bit, too. Turns out, Is told everybody in his family. I just nervously laughed and blushed. I looked up at Ishmael, he was still blushing. Anyways, we got to school early so we could wonder around until more people showed up. When I was getting all my stuff together, someone bumped into me, she growled. Under her breath she muttered, "Why did Ishmael choose you, you're just junk." I sighed, and tried to ignore her, but she kept following me. "Why would Ishmael like you?!" "Who are you?!" I asked. "I'm the great Ivy Manchester. Best girl in the school. But, the question I have is why would Ishmael choose you?!" "How do you know about us?" "I was at the mall of course when I saw you and Ishmael walking around together. He's the cutest and smartest boy, yet he chooses someone not as pretty as I?! That's just wrong!!" I just stared at her. Ivy Manchester. Blonde hair in a bun, noodle strap purple tanktop, black skinny jeans, blue high heels, gold dangling earrings, a pink headband, and a face full of makeup. I rolled my eyes and kept walking but she just kept following. "Are you and Lewis a Ishmael?! Or are you just friends?! Please tell me you're just friends!" "Um-" just then the bell rang. I ran off, she stomped away, super angry. Just before she got out of sight she yelled, "I'm not done with you!!!!" I sighed and went into my classroom. It was art class. We painted instruments today. There are only 7 people in my art class: Katie, Ally, Matthew, Riley, Hunter, Leah, and I. Katie chose to paint the clarinet, Ally the flute, Matthew the trumpet, Riley the alto saxophone, Hunter the trombone, Leah the drums, and I did the violin. I play the violin, I chose band at the beginning of the year, but teachers were never chosen for it until this week. After art, I went to band, Ishmael was in there, he plays the trombone. I'm the only violin in there. We are practicing songs for our concert, the songs are:  He's a Pirate (Pirate's of the Caribbean)  The Hanging Tree (The Hunger Games)  Let it Go (Frozen)  Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift)  and Fight Song (Rachel Platten)  We started practicing "He's a Pirate" and "The Hanging Tree" today, and it sounded pretty good. The teacher even complimented me on my playing. I like band, the teacher is also a Christian, his name is Mr. Jones. At lunch, I was eating my sandwich when two girls came up behind me. They tapped my shoulder, I turned around and it was Veronica and Ivy, I rolled my eyes and asked them,  "What do you want?" To be continued   Chapter Eight: The Bullies   "We want you to break up with Ishmael," they said at the same time. "Well, I want you to," Ivy cut me off before I could say anything. "No, I do," Veronica screamed at her. "Ugh, anyways, just break up with Ishmael so I can be his girlfriend." "I'm afraid I can't do that," I replied softly. "Why?!" they yelled. "Are you a Christian?" "Who are those?!" Ivy sarcastically asked, "wait I know! They're stupid!" I was mad and hurt. "No, they're not, but are you Christians?" "No! Of course not!" Veronica placed her hands on her hips. "Who would?!" "Ishmael." Ivy choked on her granola bar. "What?!" "Ishmael." I repeated. "Liar!!" Veronica and Ivy yelled at me. They grabbed me by my arms and took me to there friend. He was like Goliath in the Bible. Tall and had huge muscles. Veronica threw me at him. "She lied to me!" Veronica screamed. "Us!" Ivy pushed her. "She said Ishmael is a Christian!" I gulped. The boy asked,  "Where'd your other "depressed" clothes go?!" "Probably the dry cleaners! They stank!" Ivy joked. The boy laughed along with Veronica. I frowned. "What's your name?" he asked. "Aubrey, Aubrey Gallagher." "What kind of a name is Gallagher?!" Veronica sneered. "A stupid one," the boy said. I frowned, trying to hold back tears. "Don't make fun of my father's name!" I demanded. "Your father's dead!" Ivy screamed. Tears filled my eyes. "Stop it!" I cried. The boy grabbed my shirt collar and turned me facing him. His emerald green eyes shone with hatred and meanness. He clenched his fist and punched me in the stomach, then the corner of my eye. Then he noticed my eyes. Heterochromic. He laughed. "Girls, look at her eyes! He turned me around facing them now. They looked at me and laughed.   "Your eyes! They're hilarious!" They screamed with laughter. I cried.   "These are my brother's eyes and my niece's eyes! Don't make a fool of yourselves laughing at them!"   "I bet they're your father's eyes too!" Ivy laughed.   "And I bet your brother's dead too!" Veronica snickered. I couldn't hold back any more anger. I wanted to yell at them, but instead, I remembered a Bible verse, 'Treat others as you want them to treat you'. They stared at me.  "What's the matter?! Is your brother actually dead?!" the boy yelled.   "Tell her, Tom!" Veronica yelled.   "I'm waiting!" he screamed at my face. My mouth opened when I heard a scream from the background,  "That's enough!!!" she yelled. They turned around, they laughed.  "What're you gonna do?" Veronica frowned.  The girl pulled out a picture of her dad, her dad's in the army.  "My dad can deal with you guys? Want that?"  They just ran off, trying to ignore the girl repeatedly asking them that.  "Are you okay?"   I shook my head. She put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.   "It's okay," she smiled. "What's your name?"   "Aubrey-"  "Gallagher?"  "Yeah,"   I'm Aspen, Aspen Giorgi." I nodded my head. "Wanna talk later?" "I guess,"   "Okay, see you then!" she waved and ran off. I sighed with another tear running down my cheek. Aspen seemed cool, she also had a cool looking headband on her. I hope she's a true friend. To be continued  Chapter Nine: Never Ending Words   I went home and stomped upstairs. Coco was jumping around the room waiting for me. I got in and she barked happily, I got on my bed and sighed. I was still hurt by their words, they kept repeating in my head. Coco kept staring at my face, she saw the bruises from the punches on my face the boy Tom gave me. I clicked on my iPhone and went on my Twitter account, I saw on my page  that Veronica, Ivy, Tom, and 2 other guys named Jeremy and Kennedy were talking about something. The first post said,  "I can't believe that we actually got that Aubrey girl good!", that post was from Ivy. "I know right?!" from Veronica. "XD" from Tom. "What did you do to her?" Kennedy posted. "Yeah?!" Jeremy put. "I threw a few punches at her," Tom told them. "Wanna go after her tomorrow?" Kennedy asked. "Heck yeah!" Ivy posted. I tried to ignore the posts, holding back my tears. I can't believe they actually like doing this stuff. I went on Instagram and posted a selfie of me in black and white. Coco stared at my bruised and tearful face. She whimpered at sat on me. I patted her head and stared out the window. It looked like my mind. All dark and gloomy, constant rainstorms going. I don't think I can ever get over this dark sickness. It's overpowered me. I don't know what to do. I stayed in my room all night, not even bothering to go down there. People were knocking on my door, but I didn't answer. They sighed and walked off. I wasn't hungry, the posts and what happened at school made me lose my appetite. I want to leave this town, go back to Delaware, the place where I used to live. I remember all my friends, Josephine, the girl who lived across the street who loved dogs and she liked to play with me. Emily, the girl who went to my Kindergarten class. Mary, the one who helped me when I was sad, and Jennifer, my best friend since preschool who always stuck by my side and never betrayed me. Jennifer and Josephine only text me, and send photos often. They send me presents or cards at Christmas and my birthday. But I miss them, I wanna go back to Delaware, where everything was better. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning, grabbing my black sweatshirt and leggings, along with my boots. I put them on, grabbed some money for lunch, took my backpack and went out the porch door by my room. I have my own porch right by my room. I grabbed a zip line that connected to a tree that I could climb down. I slid across the live and got onto the tree branch, then hooked myself to the trunk and slid down it. I walked to school. Once I got there, I put my stuff in my locker and hid behind the school. I cried, and pulled out my violin. I started playing "I'll See You Again" by Carrie Underwood. Suddenly, someone came around the corner, I didn't care if they heard me playing I just kept playing 'til the song was over. I put my violin away and looked up, it was Aspen. "Hey," she said. She was wearing the same thing as I was except with her headband and fingerless gloves. Her hair covered her eye, "I feel you." "You do?" I asked quietly. "I've been depressed lately, my uncle, grandfather, and mother died a few years ago. I only got my father and my grandmother. My grandmother's getting older and sicker, and my father is in the army. Anything can happen on the battlefield. I've had constant thoughts about them dying, and thoughts about the ones who already passed. I remember how they died, every single second during that incident." she started tearing up, "just a second." I was sad for her. Then she spoke again, "what happened to you?" "When I was seven years old, my parents went out one night, I heard them say, 'let's go get 'em'. I don't know who 'them' were but, they never came back. That morning my sister turned on the news, when it said '2 dead and 1 injured in gun shooting'. I got depressed that very night. My sister married a man named John, who we live with now, but we moved from my beloved state, Delaware and my friends. A few months ago, my brother got hit by a drunk driver and ended up in the hospital. After 2 days passed, he died in the hospital. And as you saw yesterday, that group beat me up." Aspen sighed. "Well, class is in a few minutes, better get going." she said. I got up and walked to art class. When I walked in, people looked at my face. Their faces filled with worry. "Are you okay?!" Ally asked. I shook my head. I took my seat and listened to the teacher. After art, I went to band. Lewis ran up to me and hugged me. I cried on his shoulder. We played "Safe and Sound" and "Fight Song" today. I bought my lunch today, and sat at the back of the school by myself. It started raining after I ate my sandwich. I went inside the gym, no body was there. They were all in the cafeteria. it was 30 minutes until next period. I stared at the ground. Before 30 minutes were up, Mr. Bradford signed me out early and gave me an automatic A on my math page that I was going to take later in the day. I gathered all my things and headed home. Once I got inside, Mark saw me. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?" "Mr. Bradford signed me out." Mark nodded. I went upstairs, I was relieved that I wasn't attacked by those maniacs today. I sat on the porch by my room, and stared at the rainy skies. I unhooked the zip line so It couldn't get any wetter. I sighed and sung to myself for the rest of the afternoon with Coco sitting on my lap. To be continued  Chapter Ten: Why Are You?! I'm not going to school this morning, but I'll go later. I have a doctor's appointment at 9:45. The doctors are seeing how my depression's doing. I took one last month, they said it was not too major. (That was around when Ishmael and me got together). Madeline drove me to the hospital where Nick died. We walked in and went into the room with Dr. Roberts. I answered a bunch of questions on a piece of paper honestly. He took it and ran it through a machine in another room. He came back in with a worried face. He sighed, "It's gotten worse Miss Gallagher, last month it was in between moderate and major, but after running it through this time, it said something I've never seen in my years of testing depressed people. Usually I can help them, but I'm not sure I can help you." "What did the machine say?" Madeline asked. "......Severe." I looked down, throwing my hood over my head. I got up and walked out. "Thanks doctor," Madeline said, getting up. We drove home without a word being said in the car. I gathered all my stuff for school and walked. It was lunch time, so I sat under a drippy basketball hoop outside. I remembered what the doctor said, severe depression. And he said he couldn't help me. I sighed. Now what? Should I just throw myself into a freezing lake? He can't even help me, so what can I do? Just then, a memory came to mind. "Aubrey's just junk. She doesn't need us. I don't even care about her, or love her. Let's go get 'em." my father said. "Agreed," mother got up and put her plate in her sink. My head started aching after that memory finished. I cried. My parents didn't even love me. I'm just junk. I'm what caused them to die. Just then, Veronica, Ivy, Tom, Kennedy, and Jeremy came up. "How'd that test go?" Jeremy asked. "What test?" I asked. "The depression one!" Ivy screamed, "you take it every month. Ishmael told me, I forced him to." "It went.....fine." "Why are you even depressed anyways?!" Kennedy yelled. "If you are, just go throw yourself in a lake or something?!" I started crying. "Oh look she's crying!" Tom pointed at me. Veronica laughed. Jeremy yanked me up and punched me in the stomach. I was angered but just walked away. "Scaredy cat!" Veronica yelled. When I was walking Lewis found me. "I'm sorry," he said. I hugged him. "My depression's severe, Ishmael! Those bullies told me to go throw myself into a lake!" I cried. He just hugged me back. "Don't listen to them-"  "My parents hated me! They said I'm junk! They said they didn't even care about me, they didn't even love me!" I released the hug but he just hugged me back. I cried for the rest of the day. In all of my classes, on the way home, and all the way into the night. Rachael knocked on my door. "Ishmael is here." "Tell him I'm not available." I cried softly. Rachael sighed heavily and walked back downstairs. Coco tried to cheer me up, but after 20 minutes of trying she went back to her bed. She whimpered for 5 minutes then fell asleep. The next morning, I told John and Madeline all about what happened at school these past few days, I removed my hood and showed them my bruises on my face. They hugged me. John said he has been working hard to earn enough money so I could transfer back to my old school. Madeline said that would be a good thing to do. I nodded. "Agreed, you'll be going there next week." John said. I went to school and told Myra, Ishmael, and Aspen that I was going back to my old school. Ishmael was sad but said he would visit me often. Myra said that she would visit too. Aspen just stared at the ground. After a long moment of thinking, she said she would try to visit me every now and then. Ishmael and I spent lunch time together behind the school. At the end of the day, he hugged me goodbye and gave me a kiss. John picked me up and dropped me off at home. I was relieved that I was going back to my old school, but I was sad that I would leave my other friends behind. Ishmael said he would come twice a week and study with me. In a few days, I'd be going back to art class with Miss Ross. To be continued  Chapter Eleven: A Shocking Discovery  It was Monday, and I got all my stuff gathered for school.  Ishmael texted me to tell me how school went. I told him I would and would try to see him today or tomorrow. I wore my same clothes. The bus picked me up, and the back was still left for me. I sat down and stared out the window. Someone from the seat in front tapped me. "Hm?" I asked. "Hi," she smiled, she had braces. "I'm London, I'm new here! Who are you?" "I'm Aubrey." "Hey Aubrey! Are you new or?" "I used to go here, then I switched to a public school because of an incident, and now I'm returning today." "Do you mind if I sit back here just for today?" "You can." She got up and sat next to me. "Are you okay?" she asked noticing my clothes. I sighed. "The doctor said I have severe depression......" "Oh, what happened?" I told her what happened in my life, she had a sad look on her face at the end of my story. "I'm sorry," she said. I nodded. In art, when I was painting, a shocking memory came by. 'Let's get 'em. Later that night I heard a gun shot, from the field behind my house. Then I heard another, than a few seconds, two more were made.' It all made sense. '"I don't even care about her...." Gun shot behind my house, my room that I shared with my sister was right in front of the field. 'em' were me and my sister. I screamed. Miss Ross looked at me. "Are you okay?!" she asked. I shook my head. "My parents tried to kill me and my sister!" Miss Ross had a worried look on her face. She knows the story to my parents death. She called Madeline and told her to pick me up. Madeline came to the office. My face was shot with fear. Madeline signed me out and asked me about it in the car. "What happened?" "You know Mom and Dad?" "Yeah,"  "Those gun shots were meant to kill us! Our room was right in front of that field where it happened! I heard our parents talking about it! They said I'm junk! She doesn't need us! I don't even care about her, or love her! Let's get 'em! 'Em' was us Madeline!" Madeline's face was filled with shock and worry. "I knew I could never trust them!" Madeline punched her fist on the seat next to her. Once we got home, my eyes were filled with tears. I couldn't believe they wanted to kill us! I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Lewis came later, I told him all about it. He stayed with me for the rest of the evening. He said that I'm okay now. I nodded still fearful. He left at 10:30. I stayed up all night thinking about it. I was just glad God protected me during that night. I don't know what now. I just know that I'm safe for now. To be continued  Chapter Twelve: Engagement    It's been four months since I've transferred schools. The Bradford's are now going to my school, Ishmael is glad to see me more often. Mark and Rachael went somewhere today, so Sophie stayed with us. She plays with Luke al the time and also plays with blocks. Luke likes to play with and he also likes to bounce his soccer ball around and kick it everywhere. Today, he was playing with Sophie in the backyard. They were kicking the soccer ball into bushes and mud. Coco has a little bed outside, one in my room, too. Coco was playing with them too, once she got tired, she would go lay in her bed on the porch. Ishmael came over and played his instrument with me. He let me blow into his instrument and I let him try playing mine. Anyways, he hung out with me for a little bit, then went home. Later that night, Mark and Rachael came home. Rachael had a paper towel wrapped around her finger. "Are you okay?" Madeline asked. "Oh, I just scraped it on a rock, not too major." She replied. Madeline took the paper towel off and gasped. She looked over at Mark, then Rachael, then back to her hand. "It's gorgeous!" Madeline exclaimed. I was confused, how could a scrape be gorgeous? I ran over, and there was a shining diamond sitting on a ring. She got engaged! John came over and gave her a side hug. "Congratulations!" John smiled. I hugged Rachael and told her I was happy for her. They were already planning for the wedding that they were going to have. They said they were going to have it in November. I was surprised they already knew the date for their wedding. Coco came running downstairs barking happily. We ate dinner while Mark and Rachael told us all about their day. We went to bed after we stuffed our stomach's. I plopped in my bed and sighed, then fell asleep a few minutes later. Chapter Thirteen: Wedding Day  It was November 21, the big day. I wore a black and grey dress with a necklace. I also put on some dark purple lipstick. We drove to the church where the wedding would be held. I got out and went inside. Mark came out and said hello. He was nervous because I saw his arms shaking. John told him that it's going to be okay. Mark nodded and went to a different room. Madeline went off to find Rachael, Madeline's the bride's maid. She found her, and saw her dress. She said she looked gorgeous. "Thank you," Rachael smiled. Madeline nodded and went to get her dress on. Hours later the ceremony began. John and I found our seats and sat down. Moments later, Sophie-the flower girl and Luke-the ring bearer came down the aisle, Sophie was throwing her petals everywhere. Then a minute or so later, Rachael came with her father, everyone stood up. There were a few gasps as Rachael came down. Some were taking pictures. Once she got in her position, the preacher started talking. They said their vows and then it was the moment of truth. "Rachael, do you take Mark to be your husband?" The preacher asked. "I do," she replied. "Mark, do you take Rachael to be your wife?" "I do," he smiled. Everyone cheered while they shared a kiss and then everyone else went to the reception room while we took family photos. After thirteen minutes, we went to the reception room while Mark, Rachael, and the photographer went somewhere else to take photos. We sat down at a table and started talking. Later, Mark and Rachael came in and everybody cheered. We got our food and spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and talking. I knew Mark and Rachael were happy together. The End   Prologue  ''One year later, Aubrey came out of her depression state. Mark and Rachael had twins, Olive and Nick. When Ishmael and Aubrey turned twenty one, Ishmael proposed to her and she said yes. They had their wedding December 16. Two years later, they had a child and named her Christi, then one year later, they had twins, Jonathan and Luis, then three years later they had their last daughter, Sydney. They live in Hartford, Connecticut, Ishmael works at a restaurant while Aubrey is a teacher at her children's school.''